I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
Admittedly shitfaced... I have two questions. 1)why is the fan in my bathroom on? (Sub-text: is there a ghost?). 2) is your underwear really argyle?
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
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