the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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