Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
Whenever I don't wipe thoroughly after shitting, I just think that anyone if anyone sticks their finger up my ass, they had it coming.
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
Should I put the spider I likely swallowed in my sleep into my calorie tracker?
Randomize
