i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
the room spins SO much faster in panama
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
I need you to know I’m weirdly very sexually attracted to Charlie Puth now
Randomize
