I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
why are our drunk alter egos so much more successful than us?
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
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