Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
Dude i have a 6th sense for when bagel bites are ready.
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
I swear to god if I have to repeat this to you one more mother fucking time I will flip fucking shit and acidic rain will pour down upon your mother fucking soul
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
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