I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
Randomize
