And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
HE FINALLY TEXT ME AND CALLED ME BY MY TWITTER NAME STAND BY FOR THE WEDDING INVITE, BRIDESMAID
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
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