We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
Just remembered throwing your phone at your face in a half-drunk stupor the other morning when your alarm went off. Thought I should apologize.
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can we just cry and dive into a couch-sized bag of sadness-chips, dip them in a la-z-boy sized jar of depression salsa while watching a show called 'Forget Your Hopes and Dreams, Just Kill Yourself'?
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
I just took a condom out of my purse and opened it in front of my entire family because I thought it was a wetnap. Way too hungover for family brunch.
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
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