I hope mine doesn't look like that
i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
Randomize
