So is it bad that I'm using this 21 year old for his hot bod and utter naivety?
No its what 21 year olds are made for
Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
A giant panda just asked me for a cigarette and said "man pandas gotta smoke too." There is something wrong with this place.
Apparently getting drunk at a philanthropy event and tweeting about it is "frowned up"
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
If you’re wondering why the bong is outside the garage door just know I was being environmentally efficient by not using the freezer to chill my shit
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