so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
Walk of shaming dressed as a zombie hunter. This hangover feels like the actual apocalypse.
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
Randomize
