Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
I thought you'd have died of alcohol poisoning years ago! How'd you get my number?
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
Note to self: NEVER have sex with anyone who is experiencing explosive diarrhea.
I've never been so happy to be celibate.
Randomize
