suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
Don't let me publish my memoir unless "hurt my ankle drunk irish dancing" is at least the title of a chapter because that is really the whole story of my life.
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
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