It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
That awkward moment when you're drunk enough to crave cocaine, but you're sober enough to know it's only Tuesday.
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.
Couch. On fire.
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
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