I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
Randomize
