flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
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He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
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