hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
a garbage man just dropped off my phone and wallet. he found them in the trash this morning.
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
Randomize
