I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
I'm really busy with my period
Randomize
