i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
You're 31, how do you still outdrink all these college kids?
Practice, Irish genes, and a lack of desire to live past 40. But mostly practice.
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
Randomize
