im in a kiddie pool, high, with a keg in arms reach. If i had a sandwich and a blowjob this would be the best day ever
so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
Fuck appropriateness.
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
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