i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
I started singing the national anthem on a train in London. Happy 4th of July assholes
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
Randomize
