i think my mom watched the whole time
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
When you have to have Siri remind you that you're on your period cuz you're so drunk you keep forgetting about tampons it might be time to call it a night.
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
She's eating hot cheetos out of the bag with chopsticks, Matt, how is she NOT my soulmate?
My butt remains clenched, sir.
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
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