Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
The police scanner is talking about you again....
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
Trying to figure out the logistics of putting my laptop speakers on this plate with the last slice of pizza. Too drunk to move the plate. Not an option.
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
Randomize
