She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
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