So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
Randomize
