I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just bought myself a coach diaper bag. I thought it would be perfect for school. the baby bottle holders are where i'm gonna put my booze
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
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