i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I told the cop to try walking in heels and he'd understand why I was walking home without then on. He told me he only does that on Wednesdays.
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
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