U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
He took me out, we slept together, and he sent me home this morning with fresh cantaloupe. #husbandstatus
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
Randomize
