oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
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Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
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Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
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