why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
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