I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
so after six weeks of dating she admitted shes bi and asked if it would freak me out if we brought another girl into the bedroom. i said no in this hesitant voice and she said 'if you let me dont worry ill make it up to you'
i literally fucking hate you so fucking much.
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
Randomize
