Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
and i looked up. we had an audience...
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
Randomize
