DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
Randomize
