This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
Randomize