But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on
I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his
Her best friend sent her a random hate text and the song they played at her father's funeral came on the radio. I just got cock blocked by the universe
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
Don't drink and shop. I went for happy hour and came home with a fog machine. I now have no other choice but to scare the shit out of my neighbors with it.
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
My friend Julia's mom just called her to say she got a puzzle in the mail made of cheese and when she put it together it spelled FUCK YOU and she doesn't know who it's from.
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
Randomize
