He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
Randomize
