i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
Legitimately semi-blackout across the table from the governor off a chardonnay i can't even pronounce.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
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