There was a ginger baby in the car next to me. I almost totaled my car into the center divide.
I tried to assassinate the ginger baby
I was in the bathroom and her cat just looked at my penis with a profound hatred.
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
I feel like a weird modern Betty Crocker. I'm icing a cake and looking at gay porn, if that's not an accurate portrayal of the 21st century idk what is.
Randomize