32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
Randomize
