I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
Hindsight: maybe I should have included a few transitional texts in between talking about your son and my need to have sex. Do over?
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
Randomize
