I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
Using a miniature baseball bat to kill a mosquito in the house may not have been the most efficient or safest way, but that thing is fucking dead. However, so are three wine glasses, a lamp, and my baseball bat privileges. Worth it.
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
It seems that I didn’t convey clearly enough how well and truly fucked we are, Jack. Listen to me very closely: we are DEAD.
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