oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
Apparently, banging my bartender ex-girlfriend = free drinks again. Not every bad decision is a wrong decision.
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
Randomize
