Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
I hit her tiny dog with a horseshoe an hour ago. Her and her mom cried as it laid on the ground shaking. Im drunk.
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
Randomize
