and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
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Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
It's blow job season.
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
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