i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
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