Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
I got drunken sympathy for the whales' plight last night and signed up to give $50 monthly to Greenpeace. Calling to cancel was worse than the hangover.
Hear that? That's the wail of a dying whale. Murderer.
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
Fuck twitter. Fuck men. Fuck bras. Fuck flip flops. Fuck makeup. Fuck perfume.
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