its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
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