How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
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