Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
Just found a uh poem I wrote on ambien. It says to "cry your seamen filled tears" and "I hope you take a dagger to your vagina" and at the end it says "sincerely, God". What.the.fuck do they put in that pill?
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
Randomize
