I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
I just noped my wife on Tinder. Turns out I was the second one to find out that we both have it.
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
Randomize
