Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
The ass gains better be worth it
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