i passed out on the floor in my hallway and woke up with my dog licking himself 2 inches from my face. my first reaction? envy
I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
My roommate comes home screaming, I brought you home a friend! I thought she brought me a guy...no, she brought home a one-eyed shih tzu.
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
Randomize
