we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
Little spoons don't ask big questions
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
I don't know how to explain to you that you tried to recreate the bit from the Dana Carvey show where a guy dressed as Bill Clinton breastfeeds a bunch of puppies
Randomize
