I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
Randomize
