Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
please tell me that the half empty jar of cocktail sauce on the table has nothing to do with my missing seamonkeys
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
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