Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
The producers of Marley and Me owe me about $5 million. That's the dollar amount of embarrassment compensation required for making a 24-year-old male cry publicly on an airplane while sitting in the middle seat between a gorgeous babe and a guy with a do-rag
Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
My new best friend is the drag queen who works at mcdonalds and doesnt judge me during my walk of shame coffee break
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
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