Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
I just found a To Do list on the table, written by me last night, that just says "1. Go downstairs. 2. Get Pickles. 3. Laptop"
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
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